John 8:7 ” He is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” NKJV
During the beginning stages of my grieving process I had so many mixed emotions and thoughts. I was allowing them to rule over me and I felt stuck. I felt trapped in a dark place without an escape. I knew God was available to me whenever I was ready to receive him but I was so consumed with negativity that it was hard to open my heart to him. I thought how could he really love me when I’m so imperfect? How will he help me when I’m so selfish, bossy, arrogant, stubborn, careless and prideful? I had to realize that even through all my imperfections God’s love was unconditional. He cared about my pain. He cared about my struggles and he wanted to help me. He wanted me to be free. All I had to do was ask. God did not care that I mismanaged my money. That I smoked cigarettes or that if you make me mad my tongue was sharper than a razor blade. He just loved me for me. He was looking beyond my faults and saw the woman that he created me to be. He saw the woman that he knew I would become so instead of turning away, Guess what? He waited. Yes, that’s right! God waited for me. He waited for me to realize that he was all I ever needed. He waited for me to believe again. He waited for me to start trusting him again and when I would become complacent, he pushed me . He carried me. God said, ” Now you told me you were ready , so lets go! He didn’t just leave me there in my brokenness. He didn’t leave me in worry and fear. He didn’t leave me there to drown in my tears or to wallow in anxiety and depression. He knew I was weak and that my heart was heavy so he picked me up and carried me through my grief. Through my sad days. Through my dark days. Through all of those sleepless nights. He had been right there all along and he’s still with me right now. So the next time you’re feeling like God doesn’t care or that he’s forgotten about you because of your mistakes and imperfections just remember that his love is unconditional. Remember that God looks at the heart. He doesn’t have a special person. We are all precious in his sight. And most importantly please remember that IF HE DID IT FOR ME, HE CAN AND WILL DO IT FOR YOU TOO WHATEVER YOUR IT MAY BE!